I like graveyards. It’s not weird….OK, it’s a little weird. But it’s only weird if you don’t dig on the whole history thing. If you’re into the whole Goth love death, I think I’m a vampire & I’m going to hang out in graveyards, then yeah, you’re pretty fucking weird.

There are a plethora of reasons that makes you an odd duck. For starters, dead bodies stink. I mean they seriously stink. The smell they let off, the smell you don’t get when you watch TV, it is God awful. Take my word for it. Do not find out yourself. My last job was located directly above the county corner’s office & from time to time, the smell would make us all sick to our stomachs.

Do you know what the difference between a graveyard & a cemetery is?

A cemetery has a fence around it.

Nope. That’s bull shit, but tons of people actually believe that line. The truth is that a graveyard is attached to a church & a cemetery is stand alone.

Père Lachaise Cemetery, yup, been there, done that. You sort of have to if you ever go to Paris. Peter Abelard, Karel Appel, Hubertine Auclert, Ramón Emeterio Betances, Auguste Blanqui, Louis-Nicolas Davout, Jean-François Lyotard, Gertrude Stein, Oscar Wilde…& yes, Jim Morrison. You almost have to be famous to get your corpse dropped off there.

Père Lachaise has something for everyone….Richard Wright.

The list goes on.

I’ve been to Highgate Cemetery too. It was actually the first place I went in London. Douglas Adams, you have to bring your towel. But you know, Claudia Jones, Malcolm McLaren, Edward Richard Woodham (he went through some shit didn’t he?), & yeah…Karl Marx.

Did I mention that Douglas Adams was there? Karl Marx is still the big draw, & yeah, for good reason, but it really should be Adams shouldn’t it?

I’ve been to a fuck load of Boot Hills.

There is a difference between European & American cemeteries.

In Europe you go to pay your respects to your heroes & your villains.

In America, you go to read the history of the town. The history of US immigration is right there, carved literally into stone.

You don’t believe me? Go to any small town in America & stroll through the local cemetery, the older the better. On the east coast, the first things you see, the oldest graves, they all have British & French names. Maybe a Dutch surname thrown in if you’re in New York…New Amsterdam…Constantinople….Istanbul…Whatever.

It’s nobody’s business but the Turks.

You move a little further, the names turn Irish. On the east coast they go from really fucking ethnically Irish to Anglo-Irish.

Next comes the German’s & then the Italians.

You can tell by the frequency, especially in small towns where many of the families were just passing through.

Polish, Russian, Prussian, whatever.


If you go south, it changes. French, Spanish, French, English, Irish, German, Polish, Russian.

Keep an eye on the dates.

Do you want to go west?

Spanish, English, Irish, Irish, Irish, Chinese, Spanish.

People stay in big cities & they become a little harder to read.

It even works at Arlington. Irish, Irish, Irish, Polish, German, Latino.

You can sort of do it in England. English, Indian, Muslim.

It’s just something to think about when you travel in America. Go to the small town. Go to the old cemetery. Read the history of US immigration chiseled into stone.

If you do that, you can start to realize how stupid your anti-immigration stance really is.


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