So…I just saw a shootout that was interrupted by a Toyota Prius.
You know that scene in Wayne’s World when they are playing street hockey, the cars keep coming buy & they keep yelling “Game on!” It was sort of like that, only instead of two metal heads, it was two cowboys. I mean like Cowboy type Cowboys. Not the modern Stetson & F150 cowboy, no, I’m talking like full on John Harden sort of cowboys. Only, you know, not exactly dirty from the trail & I’m pretty sure one of them was wearing Axe…too much Axe…far too much Axe. But, really, cowboys, right down to the old Colt Peace Makers strapped to their legs.
The shootout really came out of nowhere. I mean, one minute you’re walking down Lower Main St. trying to find someplace to eat that is NOT a casino, & the next moment you see a cowboy…which, even in Deadwood, is sort of out-of-place.
You’re used to the Stetson & F150 fair. You’re used to the cowboys that wear flannels, only not the Kurt Cobain died for our sins, sort of I’m in my 30s & still worship Pearl Jam, flannel but the flannel that’s really just a cheap Oxford button down with an even cheaper tartan pattern, those cowboys are all over Deadwood. Actually, they are all over South Dakota & for some reason, the Indians on the reservations out here dress the exact same way as the cowboys.
It sort of breaks your heart when you see a Native American dressed like a cowboy…but then, I did sort of end up drinking with one that was dressed like the rat pack…& I can totally respect that.
Anyway this cowboy stank of Axe but looked like he was an extra in The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly.
That cowboy sees another cowboy coming in the opposite direction & we have a staged fight boys & girls.
You know, those fucking plant arguments that are intentionally louder than necessary to draw everyone’s attention…& it was something about a mule & a prostitute that was adlibed straight to that line where it probably wasn’t going to be family friendly for too much longer.
That fight leads to a shoot out & both men, with looks of grim determination walk out onto the street & stare one another down…until the Prius…at which point they walk back on the street, still staring at each other, wait patiently for the traffic to pass, & then it was on…again.
And the echo of blanks sound off the Black Hills. And one of them falls to the ground, & then gets up again and hurries off the road so he doesn’t get flattened by the oncoming traffic.
Welcome to Deadwood, where the Wild West meets the present day.
Welcome to Deadwood, where you can go from Kevin Cosner’s Hollywood themed casino, to a Wild West themed casino where Bill Hitchcock was actually shot & killed.
Welcome to Deadwood, where there are still shootouts on the streets…between cars.
Welcome to Deadwood where the elementary school is surrounded by casinos.
This is the weirdest & most bizarrely fucked up town I’ve ever seen…I absolutely, positively love it.