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Integrated sports. Nope. Not a good idea. Women & men just aren’t that equal.

Did you know that King Tut has no cock? Nope, no penis whatsoever.

It’s one of those things that you really don’t hear when you’re taking your gen-eds & trying not to sleep through the three credit hours of your one non Western non US history class…At least if you’re majoring in liberal arts. If you’re doing science or business, I don’t think you even need that much. I know this for a fact, my BA started in Theology & ended in History with a brief one semester stop in journalism.

I sort of ran away from journalism like a rat from a sinking ship when I realized that, nope, I hadn’t gotten a paper delivered since I made the switch from dial-up to DSL. Hence, one semester.

But that one semester taught me how not to write. For instance, you’re not allowed to jump around & abruptly switch subjects. And you certainly are not allowed to go Gonzo & throw yourself into what you’re writing. It’s a fair & balanced thing. It’s the rule I know I’ve broken the most. I mean, majoring in history you can’t really use a first person narrative, but, trust me, whatever you write is going to be as dry & flaky as three-week-old dog shit if you don’t subtly work some of your personality into your narrative.

You almost have to do it. Professors have to read hundreds of pages of papers on the same bull shit. The trick to getting the A, is to do you’re research, cover the topic, & make the bastard laugh. Just a little. Just enough to make your paper easier to read.

Rameses doesn’t have a penis either. Actually, none of the Rameses’ have one. Even the really famous Rameses, the one that you can play in the Civilization games, nope, no prick, no member, no hot dog, no rod, no whatever.

It’s really very impressive for a man to be famous for having over 100 children without the aid of a wing-ding & things. How the hell did he manage that?

There’s actually a reason for that & I forget what it is. It might be because the ancient Egyptian goddesses were into castration, but more likely it was just the product of their mummification process. Women mummies are also lacking genitalia.

It actually makes determining the gender really very difficult, but the more extremist feminists & GLBTA members love it.

“What, mummies have no gender? We should all aspire to be dry clove scented corpses, that’s the only way to achieve equality.”

“I’m a hip modern woman, I don’t identify myself as a female.”

Well, to be fair, neither do I.

I am very proud to be a man. Having a cock & balls has it’s definite advantages. For instance, having a penis, doesn’t matter if you’re Gay or Straight, it gives you the right to laugh at the dick & fart jokes. It gives you the right to make dick & fart jokes. It gives you the right to giggle a little when you read about how King Tut has no penis.

Even butch lesbians don’t seem to have that same appreciation for male immaturity, where as even the most effeminate Gay men are still going to laugh at a decent dick & fart joke.

That whole “I don’t have a gender thing,” it creates confusion. Those people don’t know if they can laugh at the really immature shit. Are they male enough for sophomoric humor? Or, are they so feminine that it’s immature they just can’t bring themselves to laugh at the “Pbluth” sound & the off-putting smell that accompanies it?

When you are so torn between gender that you can’t even identify yourself as a transvestite, you’re taking yourself & gender as a whole just a little too seriously.

Especially, you know, because gender stereotypes & roles are there for a reason.

I mean, sexuality doesn’t matter. Look at Alex, fucking Athens to India & fucking everything along the way, male & female…especially male.

Clearly sexuality doesn’t really get in the way of what you can accomplish. Back in the day, even if you were gay, you usually still held the gender role as all the other men. And if you were a gay woman, well, you were forced into that gender role unless you were lucky enough to be born to the throne.

Gender does, hence gender roles. Thanks to modern technology we have two things humans really had never had the opportunity to experience before. An extended childhood & equality between the sexes.

You take that technology away & women aren’t anywhere near equal & suddenly gender is extremely important again. Without that technology, you don’t have the privilege to say that you do not have a gender. Sorry. Fact.

We fight & struggle for gender equality & we don’t stop to realize or even appreciate why the struggle exists in the first place.

Technology makes us equal, but if you remove that by about three or so generations, well, the sexes aren’t equal anymore. You remove that by about five generations & women are subservient. They have a life expectancy of about childbirth & if they leave their husbands or father’s home & try to make it on their own that life expectancy drops to about 0.

Big old goose egg.

They don’t have the bodies to allow for that type of survival without divine intervention or extreme luck. There is a physical difference there that makes even farming, the old fashioned way, with a log & brute force, nearly impossible for women.

That reason is why nobody watches the WNBA.

It’s the reason why we still separate sports teams by gender. There is outcry that high school girls should be allowed to play on the traditionally all male foot ball team. Now, really, she can work out all she wants, & maybe make an OK running back, but that OK running back is still going to get flattened by a typical male linebacker.

Sorry, it’s a fact. Women don’t have bodies that start with the same amount of muscle mass & they don’t have bodies designed to carry the same amount of muscle mass.

We don’t realize it now, but people in the Middle Ages were rawhide. You walked, well, you walked everywhere, for starters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the armored knight on horseback….the horse at the time cost about as much as a mc-mansion today & the economic inequality was near absolute. There wasn’t a middle class, not until the very end. You were a noble & the entire community was supporting you, so you could own horses, dress in armor, & defend them or, you were broke.

Livestock didn’t pull the plows, men pulled the plows. Men pulled the plows because women physically couldn’t. Women did the light work that they were able to do because of the difference in muscle mass. They made the clothes, they cooked the food (which was literally an all-day process), they took care of the kids. Most of the time, they died in childbirth.

The fact that women, even in the 1950s, were expected to stay home & cook dinner, to take care of the house, that literally dates back to the dawn of agriculture. That dates back to the time when you pulled the plow by yourself, without the aid of livestock. That dates back to the time that everything was incredibly labor intensive & enormously physically demanding.

Women didn’t build the Great Pyramids, men did, because women just couldn’t tug those enormous blocks into place & they didn’t have the muscle mass to chisel them out in the first place.

The whole concept of women as property, well, that dates back to the fact that they usually died in childbirth. You got knocked up before modern technology & medical science & you had a 50-50 shot of living through it. If you didn’t want to get knocked up, well, chastity was your only guaranteed option. Even then, well barbarians loved to rape & pillage.

That made women in constant demand. Since they couldn’t exactly work in the fields, they couldn’t dish out the brute force to sail a boat, & they couldn’t match a man in an ancient melee combat where you have to do things a lot more physical than pull a trigger for hours on end….well, you fucked & you cooked & that didn’t really make you worth as much as a man.

Women, they couldn’t do the important work, they couldn’t meet the physical demands of the labor that kept the village alive over the winter & in times of war. You couldn’t chew the leather, for thousands of years on end, it made you worth a whole lot less. The town could afford to lose a woman here & there. Losing the men meant starvation.

But we don’t think about that do we? And the Ren fair? Fuck it, you’re never going to see how much work it really took to survive without beasts of burden readily available & industrialization. That type of realism would literally suck all the fun out of the giant pickle on the stick.

That’s literally about a million years of evolutionary & societal programming that we simply ignore.

“Women have been oppressed since the dawn of time.”

Well, yeah, they certainly have & at the dawn of time there was a good reason for it & the women knew why they had those oppressed roles. They accepted them because the alternative was to try to make it on their own with the body of a woman. That shit just wasn’t going to happen without a man’s help.

Even a man back then, well, he wasn’t going to survive too long without other men. Boys club & all that. They needed one another to survive, back then, they only really needed women to breed.

It takes a village to raise a child, but it used to take a village to feed a family…a village of men.

A million years of evolutionary & societal programming that we simply ignore.

Sorry, in a perfect world there is no gender. Women are completely equal & they always have been, so stop making your chauvinistic dick & fart jokes & grow up & join the modern world. Women can play sports as good as men.

Join the modern world.

You know, the modern world that makes that gender equality possible.

That modern world that, if you take it away the equality goes with it. You take that away & the women that are still demanding gender equality make your community a liability. That’s why you used to burn witches at the stake. Women that want equality, they are going to get in the way of the work. They are going to slow the process down & that means that a few people in your village are going to die.

Today, sure, men & women in combat roles in the military with machine guns & mechanized infantry, you can do that. Technology has made the battle-field equal. You’re driving, you’re shooting, You’re marching. What you are not doing is swinging three-feet of steel at one-another for twelve-hours straight. Sometimes, you’re doing it under about fifteen pounds of padding & iron in the hot sun. You are not drawing 105lbs of weight over & over again for 12 straight hours.

A modern man would not be rawhide enough for that type of warfare. There is no way a modern man that sits for a living & works out a few hours a night would have that type of endurance. Women, they certainly couldn’t do. That is one hell of a lot more physically demanding that marching & pulling a trigger.

But you know, expect everything to change instantly. Because, you know, the past is so far away that it’s not worth learning.

The understanding goes with it, right out the window.

Like King Tut’s cock & balls it’s lost to time.

And now we have 50 Shades of Grey. The uber-popular dirty book. As the feminine backlash against the new equality movement…a movement that’s really only century old. 100 years.

It’s a dirty book written for women, & you can tell, if it were a man writing it for other men it would be a hell of a lot dirtier….AND have immature sound effects.

FWAP. FWAP. FWAP.

Maybe crudely drawn pictures too, like Kurt’s asshole.

It’s a dirty book, written for women with a D/S theme that feminists object to, because, well, because they are fighting the war that technology allows them to fight & the women that like the book, they are still clinging to a million years of societal & species evolution. The women that like it make that war a little harder.

Damn, it’s hot & sexy, sort of being in the role that women had been in for over a million years & only recently had the ability to break out of in the last century because of technological advancements. Get’s me all wet down there…despite how poorly written it is.

Think about it. It’s a kink now isn’t it? It’s a bedroom role-playing game.

Men & women are acting out the gender roles that the physical difference between them forced them to occupy since before agriculture & it’s now considered kinky.

Like all kinky sex, you can look it up in the DSM V.

It is now considered an abnormal mental illness. The normal people, the ones that are sane, are pushing to break evolution because of technology & pushing to take people that can’t pick a gender out of the DSM.

So, you know, chill.

Take a deep breath & chill.

That guy that doesn’t want to make sports co-ed, there’s a reason for that that goes beyond the locker room. He’s not being chauvinistic. There might be a little machismo behind his judgement call, but then, it might also be that he understands what a male linebacker could do if he hits a female running back without pulling his punches.

We don’t have the gender equality of dried up 3,000 old corpses that smell vaguely of cloves. We have to evolve, physically, not mentally for that to happen. It’s not wrong to stand steadfastly against the co-ed sports teams. No one wants to watch 120lbs of feminine muscle get hit by a 300lbs eagle tackle. And really, it’s humiliating when the outfield moves closer to the diamond because they know who is coming up to the plate.

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