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I called in yesterday because of a job interview. I don’t know my chances. For starters I am not a vet or the wife of a vet or the wife of an enlisted person that would give me preference for the job. Secondly, I am not an unemployed federal government employee that will give me preference for the job. Third, I do not have a disability nor do I have a minority status that will give me preference for the job.

What I do have is a background in education, which allows me to meet & exceed the qualifications without having preference for the job. Over half the government jobs I have applied for have turned me down for having lack of these preferences.

A lot of the other jobs I have applied for now have “recent grad” as a qualification. I am no longer a recent grad. When I was a recent grad, these same jobs had “3-5 years experience” as a qualification. I guess things are getting better. At least now they are looking for recent grads.

Then again, when I was going to college there was a push for new teachers. That push fell out the moment I graduated & they started closing down schools like mad. Back then I got turned down for Teach for America because I had a background in education.

Ever feel like, no matter what, you are just falling through the cracks? I do not even have 3-5 years experience as a teacher. I have 2 years experience & have not been a recent grad for some time.

These cracks I’m falling through are roughly as wide as the Grand Canyon.

After I graduated, I was seeing waiting jobs that required “3-5 years experience.” One of the key requirements to wait tables at the Blue Line Moroccan Grill was 3-5 years experience. There were jobs advertised as “entry level, 3-5 years experience.”

Keep in mind, those were for minimum wage jobs.

With this job, I did a telephone interview in front of a panel. If I they recommend me, I have to pass a background check, provide receipts for every moving violation I have ever had, pass a drug test, pass a physical, a credit check, & then hear which of the US military bases I will be transferred to so I can start my wonderful new $11 an hour career.

That seems like a very invasive hiring hurdle for an $11 an hour job.

Did I mention that the man with security clearance that shot up the Navy Shipyard had a history of mental illness, a couple of arrests & still maintained a security clearance that paid him more than 90K a year?

My guess is that if he went through the same background checks as the $11/hr employees he would have been caught before all the bloodshed.

The difference there is pay scale. The more you get paid the less they feel the need to demand receipts for parking tickets.

It’s nice that I’m working at the government center, I can start begging for them to forward me all types of speeding tickets dating back to 1996. That way I can have them on hand, per their request, for the background check.

Job hunting is a bit ridiculous. My credit score fell because of all the credit checks that came with job hunts. Some of the places you apply these days will run an instant credit check on you. I’ve had places that take a drug test the moment I fill out an application at the job fair. Some of them do all three, drug, credit, background, take your application, yell “next!”

It used to be that those only happened when you were hired. Now some of those will happen with the start of the application process & again when they are over.

For minimum wage jobs. The money they are saving on hiring employees is getting turned right into strip searches.

I have until August before I enter that world full time again. At the moment, I’m only doing it part-time. August I will be peeing in cups, having physicals, credit, & background checks on almost a daily basis.

Every credit check is a count against your credit. They really need to change the rules, but I assume they do it to destroy the credit of job seekers.

It reminds me of a pretty famous quote;

“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”

Its the Amendment that neither the Democrats nor the Republicans are really making an effort to defend, at least not when it comes to your place of work.

Have you ever read that one? My pee, blood, saliva, & hair for some reason do not seem to fit under that Amendment. Neither does my background or credit score. Both of them are certainly “person, papers & effects” & though they aren’t seizing anything save my hair & bodily fluids, it still seems to me to fall under an “unreasonable search.”

I might not be complaining so much if this was part of the hiring process. It used to be, if you peed in a cup, you did so with joy, confident that you had locked down a job. Peeing in a cup used to mean that you were hired. It didn’t feel as invasive then, just something you had to do before you started work. Back then it seemed reasonable.

Now peeing in a cup just means you are submitting an application to a company that has the capital to make all applicants pee in a cup.

But then, up until recently, I had never applied for a job that instantly ran a credit check before. In order to apply, I must be willing to submit to the following: Credit check, water-boarding, background check, polygraph test, drug test, Rorschach test, physical, sleep deprivation interrogation. Only after successfully passing all of the above tests will you be considered for employment.

Do you know why things like “college transcripts” are not on that list? Because these are for minimum wage jobs. They don’t care if you went to college or what your GPA was.

Sometimes, if you apply out of state, one of the requirements is that you surrender your log-ins & passwords for emails & social media sites. In Illinois, it is illegal to demand that of employees, but in other states it is not & those states will add that on to the long list of demands needed for prospective employment.

One of the reasons I have a fake Facebook name is so I can stay in contact with my friends & not have to deal with that part of the job hunting game. People have lost jobs over playing “Mafia Wars” on Facebook. I should have the right to chat with my friends on Facebook without my employer reading it. I should have the right to email my mother without my employer reading about it. I should have the right to a Star Wars Knights of The Old Republic & a Pottermore account without my employer knowing about them. I certainly don’t want him checking to see how my digital house did in the last digital Quidditch Cup finals.

In Illinois I do have that right to private, digital, correspondence. In a fair few other states I do not.

Before you are even considered for a job, we want to invade every part of your life. In the future, you will be monitored on video 24 hours a day, for an entire week, so prospective employers can track your sleeping habits & how long you stay on the potty.

In the mean time, for this job, I have to dig up a receipt for every ticket dating back to when I learned to drive, because their background checks can determine if I got a ticket, but not if I paid that ticket.

When that is done, it’s just a drug test (and they promised regular tests to follow) a physical, & hopefully my credit is still good enough to land me that $11/hr job. Once all of that is out of the way, they will place me at random, wherever they like, & hopefully it is somewhere where $11 an hour goes a bit further. Out here I can make it. In Kentucky I can thrive on it. In New York City I’ll be homeless.

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