I have a confession to make. My father was a Jew. I’m part Jewish. I’ve actually pointed this out before, for reasons of humor, but now it is a confession.

There is another one too. Mom’s a Biddy. I was raised in the Catholic church. I confess, I’ll be open & honest with you. I’m a Catholic with a Jewish father.

An Ashkenazi Jewish father, if you want to be completely accurate.

Believe me, for where this is going, the Ashkenazi does sort of matter.

OK, call me Edward, I’ll confess something else. I went to college…twice. I got two degrees, currently they have opened zero doors for me, but I figured I’d confess that little sin too.

Wait, I almost moved on. I was a teacher. I taught in the inner city of Chicago. Actually, Chiraq is what they call it. I was a teacher down there.

Oh, yeah, one more confession. I am currently working on a temporary 12 month grant coordinating with FEMA for less than state minimum wage & no unemployment benefits, in August, when the 9K a year job is over.

Looking back on all of those confessions it dawned on me that I am a horrible person.
I am a truly horrible individual.
I have done some horrendously evil things in my life.
I am part of a vast conspiracy to take over the world, install the NWO into power, create Nazi concentration caps.

You see the TEA Party lost favor & where I am living now, there are a lot of Libertarians. Now on the surface they are just a bunch of cute anti-government elderly OBGYNs, but in reality, they believe some crazy shit. Especially when they see you wearing that red vest coordinating volunteers.

They will come out of their homes, not to help, but to threaten you & they will explain why….& make it very clear that what they believe, it’s not at all racist.

“I’m not anti-Semitic but…” I hear that a lot out here. I think it’s because of my Jew nose.

My father is an Ashkenazi Jew. If I knew my history, I would know that those were the Jews that brought us the holocaust. If I knew my history I would know that Hitler was a Jew & a Rothschild.

But wait, there is more.

I was raised Catholic & if I knew my history I would know that Hitler was a Catholic as well…sometimes, I can get this in the same sentence without them batting an eye.

“I’m not racist or anti-Semitic, because I hate the Catholics as much as the Jews….” Uh-hu. I’ve encountered that in history class before. No I’m not allowed to comment, so I’ll just roll with it.

These people are everywhere out here in the sticks. But don’t worry, they aren’t racists. Despite repeating John Birch Society slogans, they aren’t racists.

Now I went to college which means I was indoctrinated into both communism & fascism…

Shit…wait…almost forgot, I’m totally a socialist…but…that happened when I was in high school & largely because of Bill Clinton’s trade policies. So, you know. They might have a point there. They did teach me a bit about communism in college too. But I do have a degree in history. It’s hard not to learn about communism & get a degree in History with an emphasis in Latin America post Cuban Revolution.

Needless to say, the whole college thing, it didn’t work out the way they think it did. You sort of have to be in a very specific degree path for Marxist Theory to become a required course.

Where was I?

Right, I taught history, which means I was also paid by the government to indoctrinate children to believe in communist-fascism so that they wouldn’t be free thinkers enough to know that Hitler was a Catholic Jew that was part of the non-racist Jewish conspiracy to control the world’s money supply.

I know, it seems crazy when I write it. I look at that & think “that’s some crazy shit.” But trust me, they will insist that you are crazy for not believing it.

They will insist this because you work with FEMA to coordinate volunteers to save their homes & we all know that Bush & Obama have a weather machine & are creating all these hurricanes & tornadoes & floods & droughts to make us believe in Climate Change because the Jews, & this isn’t anti-semetic, have invested money into green energy & besides that, weather emergencies mean that they can have an excuse round up people & throw them into concentration camps like they did to depopulate New Orleans.

You here all of this & the only thing you are allowed to say is: “Dude, we are just sandbagging the river so your house doesn’t flood.”


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