Has anyone seen Life After People on the History Channel? I have, but of course I have. I mean I am looking for a job. I am in my thirties & have been living with my parents for the past six months, of course I am up on trash TV.

There’s a lot of pride swallowing when you move into Mommy & Daddy’s house. The biggest slice of humble pie that you are forced to cram down your throat is the simple fact that you are living with mom & dad again, at your age. If you’re Mexican, its not that big a deal, they don’t have a culture that says you have to get out of the house at 18 & never, ever come back. Unfortunately I’m not Mexican, so the guilt & shame are here in spades.

Then there’s the shame & guilt & depression that comes with the situation that forced you to move back in. If you are in my situation, you have a masters degree, but that doesn’t matter, because you are still being turned down for the unskilled shit jobs that you worked when you were in high school. The only difference is that in high school you could get those jobs in the blink of an eye with no effort. Now, I’m begging for them.

So it goes.

My last shit job came with an expiration date. Well, every shit job that I have landed since I lost my teaching position has come with an expiration date. People will hire me, for three months, & then let me go before they have to treat me like an employee. I’ve worked at a printing press for a years worth of three month stints since 2009. They have no problem with me, they are willing to hire me back they just don’t want to keep me for more than three months.

The alternative, it seems, is to find a couple of stable part-time jobs. Part time jobs don’t have to do the legally required shit that comes with full time employment, so part time jobs will probably get me & keep me. My problem is that the part time jobs are harder to find. Part time jobs are the jobs people are looking for because they are the jobs that don’t go away after three months.

I don’t judge a person by what they do for a living. You won’t see me shitting on someone that is working at Wal-Mart, just because they have a shit job. I understand how it works, that Wal-Mart stock boy is probably smarter & more worthy of existence than I am. You might be a stock boy or a cashier, but that doesn’t stop you from having a masters degree with a 4.0 GPA. If you believe that, well you are an idiot & one that has been living under a rock. That’s a dangerous combination.

Another slice of humble pie is television. When I was gainfully employed I never watched TV. Shit, when I was gainfully employed I didn’t even own a TV. I still don’t own a TV. Dad owns a TV, but I watch it, I turn it on for background noise when I job hunt.

It used to be that job hunting meant that I would skip around town and physically turn in applications. Now job hunting means that I sit in the living room and apply on line because no one takes physical applications any longer. I sit in the living room, I turn on the TV for background noise, & I fill out applications, I e-mail my resume, I take the stupid computer pre-employment tests & I make phone calls to people that tell me not to call.

Don’t I know that everything is done digitally now? Don’t I know that their computer is going to decide if I’m a good fit for their company? Don’t I know that a series of 1’s & 0’s is going to decide if I am a good people person? Don’t I know that a machine is going to judge if I am smart enough to work for you?

Don’t you know that when the machines take over there ain’t no place for rock & roll? Queen told me that & old Freddie was right.

No trabajo no dinero. No dinero no banocha. No trabajo no dinero, no dinero no fiesta, no fiesta no banocha. No trabajo no cerveza, no cerveza, no fiesta, no fiesta no banocha.

No trabajo no fiesta con queso…y no banocha.

Banocha is what makes the world go round & you’re not getting any of that without trabajo y mucho, mucho dinero. Banocha is super expensive. Ironically, banocha is even more expensive for people like me that don’t pay for it. Funny how that works.

The one thing that I know for sure is that the driving force behind banocha is dinero.

I’m losing my international crowd here. The American’s can follow me fine. The Americans get the joke, but Europeans, Asians, most Africans, they speak a lot less Spanish than we do.

Being bilingual is a plus in the job world. Unfortunately, being able to read Spanish does not make me bilingual. For those of you that will find themselves in a Spanish speaking country, don’t make the same mistake I did. “ATM” is “ATM” in Spain, it’s not “banco. dinero. máquina.” And that is why I’m not bilingual.

But yeah, Life After People, that’s what I intended to actually write about before I tried to show off my shit Spanish skills.

It’s an interesting show. What it does is alert Americans to what is happening to their country right now in the present. The title is misleading. It is all based on what will happen to infrastructure if no one is there to take care of it.

Ironic, especially given that there are a lot of conservatives & libertarians that believe that the money that they pay to keep people employed to make sure that Life After People only comes true after humans is a waste of money.

Its hard to convince these people that just because roads & bridges are there doesn’t mean that they don’t need to be maintained to insure that they are still there. These people are really fighting hard to make certain that they won’t be there for long. I’ve seen the show, I’ve seen how little time needs to pass before a bridge becomes unsafe for travel or just snaps & falls.

There is a disconnect that Americans face every day.

Here’s another one. This one is a good one. Big Government doesn’t work. The example that is used is that our current congress does less in a day than I do while I’m unemployed. The thing is the people that are saying that are backing the views of people in big government & those people are the people that are actively attempting to ensure that big government doesn’t work.

They are right, in a sense, our big government doesn’t work, but it only doesn’t work because the people that are pushing that point, so that they don’t have to pay people to make sure our bridges are safe, are the very same people that have succeeded in stopping the government from working.

If these big government people put as much effort into making big government work as they are into making big government fail to work that our government would work.

But that one isn’t ironic, its unfortunate.

What is also unfortunate is that I don’t have a job teaching history.

That’s really unfortunate. Because if I did, I could teach students that the libertarians are correct, that the economic policy they are pushing gave America one hell of a GNP. But I could also teach them that the divide between the rich & the poor when we followed that economic policy was enormous. I could teach them that when Mark Twain called that era the Gilded Age he was being sarcastic. He was pointing out the contrast between the dozen enormous mansions & the millions of sweatshop employees & unsafe cold water shacks. There was more poverty in the gilded age than any other age. Unemployment was low, but poverty was epidemic. If you worked, you lived well below the poverty line. America was a third world nation then & they are working hard to bring us back down to that level.

But then, that’s the thing about history. If you don’t know your history its like you were born yesterday, anyone can tall you anything & you are going to believe it.

OK, back to the job hunt.

Almost forgot, today is National Unity Day in Hungry. The day that they celebrate losing 70% of their land & 60% of their people after World War I. That’s just too funny.


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