Hi there.  It’s odd being a school security guard, especially since I used to be a teacher.  I was on really good terms with the security guard at my old school.  That was partially because I was raised to be polite—thanks mom & dad.  They raised me to mind my please & thank yous & use “sir” & “ma’am” when I’m talking to strangers.  I’m very proud about how polite I can be without trying.  This was also partially because, as a smoker, it was necessary to get to know the janitors & security guards at my school.  It comes with smoking.  Especially when you are a smoker at a job that requires you to sneak in & out of work, but out side of the Science teacher, I was the only one to get to know him.

It must have been a lonely job, but that’s how a lot of teachers are.  Snobbish.  And this job is no exception.  The auxiliary staff tends to stick together at schools.  Teachers like to ignore them, at best.  But there are some that are still new to the game enough to not look down at the TA’s, library staff, security guards, secretaries, & hall monitors.

Alright, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.  The people that hired me didn’t tell me that I’d be laid off in May & have to reapply the next summer.  They told me it was a full time job.  Those lying bastards.  So I guess I’m only a temp…again…I’d love to have a stable job somewhere.  They also asked me to tell them what is going on at the school since they are hearing conflicting stories.  I told them I’d do it, mainly because I wanted a full time job.  Had they told me that I was a temp I would have probably not wasted the money on a uniform, certification, & fingerprints.

But since this is only a temp job & I will have to reapply & go through all the Bull Shit again, I figure I’ll tell you what I’m telling them.  You might get a kick out of it.

Right away I can say that the problem is the manager.  She is a former cop with a type-A personality.  She is in authority & revels in it.  I got the lock on her the very first day.  If I ran a business, I would never put a type-A in a position of power that requires interaction with other people.  That’s just begging for a mutiny & the employees are not going to be happy about it.  She’s the type of cop that you don’t want to get stopped by.  Right away I heard about a twixt.  Some of the staff wants to be waiting to welcome away teams when they arrive at the school.  Type-A wants to wait until they call the security desk for us to welcome them, after a seven-minute walk across campus.  It’s just her letting us know who is in charge.

But I will give her this; she’s a lesbian & told me so on my first day at the school.  She has props in my book for that, in a way.  I give her two thumbs up for being out of the closet & willing to tell that to a complete stranger.  But two thumb down for being so ready with that information in a school setting.  That’s just stupid.  If a conservative parent found out about that she’d be in a lot of trouble.  I’m not going to add that little fact in my report, for political reasons.  She should be able to be out & proud & fuck the parents that have issue with that.  But there are a lot of them in this conservative community, so, I hate to say it, she should keep her mouth shut.

Then there is the retired cop.  OK, I don’t know that he is a retired cop for sure—you’ll find out when I do—but he smells like a cop.  He’s here working to supplement a small pension.  He is not the problem there.  I can tell you that right now.  He doesn’t need the job & is only working it for the paycheck.  He doesn’t care enough about it to butt heads with anyone or cause a scene.  I would have hired him in a heart beat, he’s going to do what he’s told, not rock the boat, & try to make the best of things.

We have an ex-military girl there.  You can tell that from a glance.  I’d be shocked if she got her walking papers more than a year ago.  She’s obviously still adjusting to civilian life.  I don’t know enough about the security guard work to make a judgment if she’s a good employee, but she’s going to be too firm with the students.  This is academia, she won’t earn their respect with a military attitude, she’ll have to learn how to approach civilians.  But that might come in time.

There’s a civilian like me there.  He is Gospel hound that is really good friends with Type-A, the shift manager.  He is a nice enough guy & seems to be on great terms with the trouble students, which is great, but anyone that close to the boss isn’t going to be my friend, nice guy or not.  People like that, in a work place, you have to be civil with but keep your mouth shut around.  That’s just how that goes.  I’m guessing the obvious favoritism is going to piss a few people off.  I’ve already heard other guards call him a cry baby.  This is because he’s so close to the boss.  Eliminate Type-A & that will cease to be a problem.  So it goes.  If I were the boss I’d keep him on staff.

There is an old lady there that is training me.  She has been there long enough to know the faculty & auxiliary staff, & most of the students by name.  She is going to be butting heads with the boss.  This is probably due to experience verses authority.  She’s been around enough to know the game & the boss won’t like her for that fact alone.  She even knows how long it will take the cleaning staff to do each floor.  Authority verses experience. If Type-A would listen to her she might learn something, but that won’t happen due to personality type alone.

That’s the non cleaned up version of the first report I’m sending out.  I really need to find a new job, something permanent.  Maybe something that pays more.  I like the amount of walking involved with this one & it seems like a nice enough job, but it doesn’t pay enough to live on & it isn’t permanent.  That really sucks.  I thought the job hunting could be put on hold for a while.  This is apparently not the case, but at least its a little money in the bank.

So now it’s back to the job hunt but at least it’s back to the job hunt with a little income.  I would have quite the moment I found out it was only temp work, I’m sick & fucking tired of temp work, but I need the money & I’m hoping this will give me some school connections that will put me back in the classroom.  It probably won’t, at best I’m invisible here, but a guy can dream.

No, this really sucks.  I thought I had a permanent job here.  I can’t sugar coat it.  I need something regular.  I’m too old to be a temp.  I already know & accept that I will never retire, but I would kill for a career, pure & simple.  I’m not looking for riches, just the dream of being self-sufficient again.  At best, if I saved my money, I could barely make it with this job in time.  But not if it’s only temp work.  That really pisses me off.  They should have told me that at the door, & here they made me shave the beard I had since I was 18 to take a hob that ends in may.  Have you ever gotten rid of a beard that you’ve had for years?  That’s right, the first few days you break out in acne like a high school kid.  I look like an asshole without it.

I guess a job is a job.  But a temp job is only temporary.  Its not a real job, it’s a job that ends in May that I’ll have to reapply for & go through all the hiring bull shit again in August.  That’s not a job, that is fate slapping me in the face.  “Here you go big guy, you thought you were working again, well fuck you, it ends in May!”  I need to find something regular.

Its getting to the point where I’m thinking about fake robbing a bank just so I can get a job in a prison & save some cash.  Why not?  There are work programs that help felons get stable jobs.  I could get a doctorate in prison & hit the ground running.  There is no chance in hell I’d be able to go back to school in my current economic position.  Prison might be a good idea.  I’ll just have to plan the arrest in a state with a decent federal prison; I’ll research it like I did my college.  And then get ass-raped on a regular basis by a man named Bubba.  That’ll be fun.

I was really hoping this would be a full time permanent gig.  So it goes.  Once more to the job hunting boards.  I hope something breaks soon.  I had high hopes of this being a regular gig.  They told me it would be.  I’d sue for false advertisement if I could afford an attorney.   Oh well, it’s time for day two & I want to get there at least half-an-hour early to make everyone know that I’m a serious employee, even if it is a job that ends in May.


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